I’ve watched the entire thing. Every game. Well, I missed the first game, these things happen. But what’s annoyed me more than anything else — more than the inconsistent strike zones, more than Morgan Ensberg’s slump, more than Bud Selig insisting that Minute Maid have an open roof for the home games, more than the ungodly number of runners left on in scoring position, more than the Pro-Sox Fox announcers — is Phil Garner.
I hate Phil Garner.
Garner, who used to manage Detroit and Miluakee, seems to manage according to some sort of strange voodoo witchcraft. His choices make little to no sense, and it’s costing the Astros post-season victory.
Last season in Game 1 of the NLCS he mysteriously pulls Backe in the 5th when the kid is actually throwing pretty well. The game was tied at the end of five, the Wonder Crap Twins of Qualls and Wheeler, with an assist from Chad “I Suck” Harville, managed to lose it to St. Louis. In that same series, the very next game, Garner brings in Harville again. Harville, who’d given up SIX RUNS in the 6th the goddamn day before.
I realize that you’ve got to manage with the team you’ve got, but for fuck sake, at least bring in Wheeler who’d thrown pretty goddamn well in the 7th and 8th in Game 1. But nothing will ever, ever be able to explain why he pulled Backe in Game 1. Nothing.
So that was last year, and it was long enough ago that I can’t recout all the crimes from that series, so let’s look at the World Series this year.
It’s no secret that the Astros have had trouble scoring runs all damn season. Roger Clemens had the lowest ERA in all of the MLB at 1.87, and went 13-8 on the season. The Rocket is old for a ball player, and he doesn’t have what he used to, but 1.87 is insane, especially for a starter. Most of those games were lost 2-0 or 1-0, or 2-1…close, and almost always with plenty of runners left on in scoring position.
But in the post season this has been totally insane. And the bottom part of the order is to blame. Also, Morgan Ensberg’s sudden change into Jeff Kent. Ensberg hit .116 in the World Series, and yet Garner left him in the 4th spot. Berkman and Ausmus were both hitting well, but Ausmus was left to languish in the #7 spot (up from #8 during the regular season), and Berkman stayed at #3. Ensberg is hitting like shit, switch him with Berkman, because Biggio and Taveres have been getting on pretty well, and Ensberg mostly has been either striking out or flying out to the outfield. Not a double-play danger, and maybe you get lucky and he moves the runner over. Move Ausmus up to #5 or #6 (depending on who’s starting in left or at first), then Lane and whoever else.
Also, while you’re at it, fucking take Adam Everett out. Everett batted .077 this World Series. That’s worse than any pitcher in the National League. Hell, he had fewer hits than ChiSox starter Freddy Garcia. If you’re going to bring in Burke, who came up as an infielder, for his bat by sticking him in left, or Lamb for his and move Berkman to left, why not do both! Put Burke at short and Berkman in left with Lamb at first, all of a sudden you have a decent middle part of the order! Hell, even Eric Bruntlett instead of Everett, because you’re bringing him in for defense for Biggio late in the game anyway and he hits pretty well. Fuck.
I hate you Phil Garner, your voodoo management has killed my Astros when they have the best team they’ve had in 15 years. They made it to the Series in spite of your craziness, but you got beaten by a guy who believes in Santaria. How’s that make you feel, Phil? I hope it makes you feel unemployed.
